Posts by individuals wife

8

My story

by Tammie in

but let me now tell you of my story.

just remember this, and i will come back to it later in my story.. in 1993, i got married to my husband.

that was my husband's doing.

What an incredible story - peoples experiences of life as a JW never cease to amaze me - it is incredible to think that we can survive these trials and still come out the other side with any faith left intact at all.

I understand completely what you say concerning the children - mine used to hate being dragged along to meetings, they would get so bored listening to all the adult conversation, there was so little that applied to them. Who could blame them for getting fidgety and restless and making a noise? I used to get so angry with the elders when they critisized us parents for letting our children run around after the meeting - all they were doing was stretching their legs and letting off a little steam and yet they were really scolded by the elders for just doing what normal little children do. They were expected to act like adults - so unfair. Also I used to get filthy looks if my son fell asleep at the meeting as he used to snore extremely loudly... the looks I used to get... how could they honestly expect a two year old to stay awake past 9 oclock at night??
I found most of them there to be very intolerant.

I found your point about your faith very interesting - my husband, who left at the same time as I did, last November, is experiencing the same thing - a stronger faith now than ever before despite being in the JWs for 25 odd years. At long last he is able to examine his faith and read all the books he wants, bible commentaries and essays, etc. and he is at last able to explore his own beliefs. It is very enlightening and exciting to be able to make your own decisions and come to your own conclusions without having to adhere to the teachings of the WT society. He is definitely more interested in his spiritual side now than he ever was before. As for me... I'm working on it!

It is so obvious what a threat the internet is to the society, there is so much real truth to be found here, nothing is hidden, they can be fully exposed here, their hypocrisy is revealed. People have the chance to come together to share their stories and encourage and upbuild each other, you realise that you are not alone. I dread to think how I would have coped in those early days after I disassociated if I have not been able to come here and gain encouragement, even by lurking I was able to be strengthened and keep up my resolve.

Take care Tammie and enjoy being free.

37

Last Post

by joelbear in

jw
friends

i love so many of you so very much.

what wonderful people there are here and how i have rejoiced in our spirits joining.. i have, as i said, given up.

i am disconnecting from this board and from a number of other things in my life.. i am staying connected to mitch.

individuals wife

Take care Joel, and dont forget - you promised to come over and cook us dinner - make sure you do! Will miss your wonderful input here - you are indeed a very special person. We will continue to visit your website - it truly is an inspiration. xxxxx

2

Women of the World - UNITE!

by Amazing in

jw
friends

there is a plethora of information on how women in many middle eastern, asian and african nations are grossly abused.

some are forcibly enslaved in the prostitution industry, many are mutiliated at birth with so-called female circumcision, cutting off the clitoris.

many are forced to hide their beauty, wearing dreary drapes in hot arid climates.

individuals wife

Reading things like this really make me stop for a moment and count my blessings - it is all so easy to forget how much we take for granted, simple things, daily activities. It is hard to believe that there are still parts of society in the world today, civilised as it is supposed to be, where the woman is so oppressed.

Like you said, these women just wait and hope for the day when these things will change - I just pray that they will and these women will have an opportunity to taste the freedom that we are lucky to have. No woman deserves to be treated in this way.

Maybe it is a good time to buy your wife something new that she wants, and let her know how beautiful she is....

I don't personally feel that that is necessary - a few words of appreciation can brighten my day much more than a material gift, also to be treated as an equal is more valuable to me.

20

Patriotism?

by proplog2 in

jw
friends

i was raised a jw and during the 1950's i experienced the ugly side of flag worship.

date: 1960. place: midwestern industrial city.. scene: school gymnasium/auditorium.

2,000 students assembled to recognize the foreign exchange students.

individuals wife

I detest that little red white & blue ribbon object in what is supposed to be a JW forum.

Have fun worshiping your red, white, and blue God.

I dont understand how displaying a flag of your country constitutes worship. My daughter waved a flag this week during a royal visit and I had no feeling that she was worshipping anybody. What is so wrong in being proud of your country?

I feel that having the flag displayed here on this site is very appropriate - I have noticed here in the UK a lot of American flags in peoples windows and it has been very moving - it serves as a symbol of unity, a fellow feeling, a sharing in grief and a message to all in the US that we stand beside you. In no way is it worshipping. It shows that we care.

I am just so glad that I no longer have to put my kids through all the emotional trauma of dealing with issues like this at school. Life for our little ones is hard enough without having to examine every little rule and regulation of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society.

3

A Religious Debate

by barry in

jw
friends

about ten years ago jehovahs witnesses were making many converts in the city of rome.

this was quite disturbing to the pope and the italian authorities.

the witnesses can stay.''.

individuals wife

hahaha - heard this one before somewhere but still found it very funny the second time around! Thank you for that - needed a good excuse to laugh today, got a really bad cold - you know the sort, bad head, running nose, hacking cough, bucketfuls of germs, feeling very sorry for myself really! So thanks for the excuse to laugh... and start coughing again!

63

"Hey there all you lurkey ones..."

by Simon in

jw
friends

hmmn, doesn't quite work does it?

ok...we'll stick with 'thirsty' then .

why not register and make a post or two...ask a question...make a statement...whatever !.

individuals wife

Hi target!!

Good to have you out of lurking and into the realms of posting! Welcome to you! I lurked for many months before I finally came aboard, by that time I already felt as though I knew many of the people here, it was much like being a wallflower at a party watching everyone having a good time then suddenly feeling the urge to get up and boogey! And what a nice bunch they are in here, well, most of them....

I agree with much of what you say, certainly that the witnesses are not Gods organisation, that is so clear to those of us who have left. Like you none of my family are in the org. anymore which makes life so much easier, and leaving it so much easier. My husbands family left in the 70's and my husband left at the same time as I did, last November. So it is still early days for us, things can still be a little raw and tender sometimes but we are getting there. It is certainly hard work trying to repair the emotional damage that they have caused over the years. We too are planning to move out of the area, we feel very enclosed where we live, a lot of JWs in our immediate vicinity, all shunning us, it can be very uncomfortable having the constant reminders that we were ever in the local congregation. So a new break, a new area, new faces would definitely help us in our healing process and would certainly help me to cope with the anger I feel when constantly shunned.

Please feel free to let us here some more of your experiences, especially as you have a whole basketful! I'm sure we will benefit from hearing them!

14

bump in the night

by finnrot in

jw
friends

as i read this board i notice that there are a lot of people that like myself don't believe in god anymore, and when i run accross a post where someone is professing their belief in god, that i have nothing but utter distain for them, almost like they don't belong here.

for a newbie that's kind of a ridiculous position i guess.

as i was growing it was constantly shoved down my throat that every other belief system was contlolled by the devil and run by his little demons, so after 1975 came and went and i realized that the one true religion was full of crap also, that left me with only reality to grasp, and that's, you live you die and the the worms eat you.

individuals wife

finnrot

my opinions are strong

er, yes, I see! Nothing wrong with having a strong opinion - I too have strong opinions on most things! I'd rather be in the company of people with strong opinions than in the company of people who couldn't care less.

when I run across a post where someone is professing their belief in God, that I have nothing but utter distain for them, almost like they don't belong here.

Oh, should I go then?! Do you really have disdain for me? I always had a religious leaning, even as a child and regularly attended Methodist Church until I recognised that I didnt follow the trinity theory, then I was drawn to the Baptist Church but again found problems.. then came the Witnesses... need I say more? When I left I found the religious side of my nature in absolute tatters, I no longer believed in God as I could not accept the 'God of the JWs', the God that would bring death and destruction to so many innocent people, my image of God was distorted.

Now that I have had time to reflect I find myself re-examining my faith and am still somewhat flailing around in the dark. I have many questions left unanswered, maybe some of them never will be - but I am still one of those people who believe that this life is so amazing, so incredible, so intricate that I can only believe in a Creator. There is so much in nature and biochemistry in particular that scream out the fact that we were designed.

I still tend to believe like you do that you live, you die and then the little worms eat you - I still doubt that God has any extra special treatment waiting for us when we die. Guess I will just have to wait and find out. I would like nothing better than to believe that I would wake up in heaven but I am certainly not going to fret about it, just live my life the best way that I can, be kind to small children and animals, be considerate, donate in some small way to charity, give a little of my spare time to voluntary causes... I think this is the best way to go, not to get hung up over things that we dont understand and cant ever hope to understand either.

I believe that just because the JWs have got a lot of things so wrong it does not mean that people should lose their faith altogether when they leave. One bad experience does not make the whole concept wrong.

There is a lot of good in a lot of religions, you only have to look at the drop in centres, food centres and soup kitchens and other help that they provide. And I doubt that many involved with these projects walk around with ' glassey eyes and welcoming death'! They just want to improve the lot of the unfortunate where they can.

Anyway, I can only commend anyone who can go through all that the organisation throws at them and still come out the other side with any vestige of spirituality or religious leaning!

Good to meet you by the way!!!

(Edited to correct errors, sniff, sniff.. hard to type when you have a stinking cold and your nose is dripping and you keep on having to blow it!)

21

Greetings from Newbie

by c5 in

my name is cari.

i am fairly new here.

here is my story.. i was "raised in the truth".

individuals wife

First of all - hi to you Cari - thanks for relating your story - it always amazes me that people can go through so much in the JWs and still come out the other side. I commend you for your courage in taking a stand against them and making decisions for yourself.

I haven't always made the best decisions for myself since leaving. But I know that is life, and is normal. One of the hardest things to get used to is realising that I do not have to be perfect! I got myself into that rut while being with the JW's...always watching what I was doing, etc etc. The relief is immense! The biggest thing I enjoy is being guilt free. I live life as I choose, not as what others would want me to live.

Isn't it amazing to be able to make decisions for ourselves without having to consult a society book so that the organisation may make our decisions for us! Yes, I agree that sometimes we may make the wrong decisions sometimes - but that is just part of life and the whole learning experience. I also agree that we do not have to be perfect - God does not expect us to be! I think all we can do is try our hardest to be the best that we can, to enjoy life while we have it, to try and be of some benefit to those around us, to bring up our children to understand the difference between right and wrong, to just get through life without causing pain to anyone else. I think that if we can achieve a little of all those things then we have accomplished a lot.

It is just so refreshing now to be able to look at life with anticipation and excitement - not an excitement about Armageddon and the destruction of all those innocent people, but an excitement about where our lives may take us. No longer is our life mapped out for us, meetings, field service, ministry school, pioneer school, Bethel... etc, etc. Our horizons have been broadened and we are free to be individuals. Enjoy your new life!!

Also, secondly, a big welcome to Maxine - good to have another UK face on this board!

16

Hi, I'm new here

by sweetone2377 in

i wanted to introduce myself real quick.

i was raised as a witness from the age of 10. i am now 23 yo.

i was disfellowshipped at the age of 19 for marrying a man who was studying.

individuals wife

Welcome to Sweetone and Eldersdaughter

Good to have you here.

My heart aches for all those that have suffered such pain at the hands of the organisation. I believe that shunning is quite possibly one of the most dispicable things that one so-called Christian can do to another. I know from personal experience what anguish and stress it can cause, I also know that many only shun because of the fear that they too will be ousted from the congregation through association. I find it disgusting that the organisation rules through fear like that and find it incredible that they can call themselves 'Christlike'. Where in the Bible did Jesus shun anyone and treat them as though they were dead? Where in the Bible did Jesus cross over the road to avoid meeting the gaze of someone who did not share His beliefs? Where in the Bible did Jesus look into the eyes of someone with absolute hatred and loathing just because they chose to disagree with Him?

To me shunning just serves as a way to keep the congregation in line, to prevent them finding out the reasons why disgruntled people are leaving - I sent copies of my da letter to many 'friends' in the congregation when I left so that they would be in doubt as to my reasons. I even sat with some of them as they read them just to make sure that they were read. The outcome was sadly obvious - I was stilled shunned by them all.

I can understand your fears about the children - they are so innocent and should not be dragged in the absurd politics of the JW society. I think that they should be protected from all that as children. I made the mistake of becoming so involved with my congregation that my worldy family were somewhat neglected and it has taken quite a while for my children to become accustomed to spending time with them. The atmosphere used to be quite tense, especially around holiday seasons, it was as though everyone were treading on eggshells. Now, things are definitely more 'normal'.

I recognise that I am very fortunate indeed in that I no longer have any family at all in the organisation which makes my life so much easier. My heart goes out to all those who have to deal with difficult decisions and situations concerning parents and grandparents etc.

26

My Story

by rmayer32 in

being new here and reading some of the stories here i thought i would add mine.

not being as dramatic as some of them out there still thought i would share:).

i was born a jw as my mom was raised one from the time she was a toddler.

individuals wife

Hi Rick

Good to have you here, and so glad to see your story had a happy ending. Like you I do not consider my time in the JWs to be as dramatic as some of the accounts that I read here, but I guess that even a less dramatic time in the organisation can still affect you for many years afterwards. I too disassociated myself after finally opening my eyes to the hypocrisy and prejudice that I was seeing. No longer could I go to the meetings in good conscience and certainly I could no longer pioneer, teaching things to people that I myself did not believe.

Your story shows that there indeed a chance of having a good, fulfilling and happy life after the organisation, the JWs seem to believe that if you no longer belong to their society that you will not be able to have happiness or a direction in life. How untrue that is - I can honestly say that since I left last Nov, with my husband also leaving with me by the way, I have never been more happy, more content, more determined to make my life a success. I have gone back to college, embarked on voluntary work and have an application for university being processed at this moment! Never could I have considered any of this if I had remained a JW. I now look forward to a better future, and also a better future for my children too.

Like I said - welcome to this site - I hope it gives you whatever you need - encouragement, a place to vent, a chance in indulge in lively debate - whatever you need. I personally come here to reaffirm what I already know, to stay determined in remaining out of the organisation and to give me a boost when I have had a bad day - I am surrounded by JWs where I live which means a constant round of shunning on a daily basis - it no longer upsets me, just makes me so very angry. It is good to know I am not alone.